Divorce, Mortgage, Childcare?

[PITSTOP]

I have a million and one things I could ask on here but here goes just a couple of things: Getting divorced at the moment and my ex has asked me to change the mortgage from repayment to interest only to bring the cost of the payments down as he says he is struggling to pay. His girlfriend does not work put picks up more money than me yet I am expected to pay all the bills for the house, all the childcare for our 2 children as I work full time and anything else the children need i.e. swimming and dancing lessons.
Why should I do this for him? he has not offered to give me any money towards childcare over the summer holidays and has used all his own holiday up going to Egypt with his girlfriend so he can't even look after his own kids during the holidays. He keeps phoning and giving me abuse as I have refused to sign the forms up until now, but I feel I am being bullied.
Please advise
Just wanted to add:
He will not pay maintenance for the kids until he stops paying the mortgage he says that's his kind of maintenance!

[getmoney]

Don't give him the satisfaction. Tell him life's a b**ch and to suck it up.

[rosie]

if he can afford to go to egypt he can afford the mortgage. dont sign for interest only. tell him he cant have his bread buttered on both sides and suggest to him that his girlfriend gets a job and stop scabbing off him.

[Desmond]

Right, first of all, if he changes the mortagage to ineterst only then when the mortgage term is up, he will need to pay the house off otherwise it will get reposessed.
The best thing you could do is to see a solicitor who can sort out assets and child maintenance, normally, this approach has much more success than dealing with the CSA.

[LeighD:-)]

Please don't give in, if the least he is doing for his kids is paying the mortgage then he should pay his full share!
If it were not for the fact that he seems to have plenty of cash to enjoy his new girlfriend (holidays etc) then it would be different if he were really struggling!
Put your foot down, the laws in most countries have changed and are they are now really hard on child care payments etc.
Whatever your reasons are for falling out, he should be taking care of his kids. If he continues to bully you, then see your lawyer or simply tell him "either pay this or pay for everything you are not paying for" Im sure he will settle for the mortgage!

P.s Dont put up with his abuse. Be strong and refuse to talk to him if he is being rude!

[daljack]

You don't sign anything until you're satisfied you're happy and can live with the outcome.

Your lawyer should be advising you about this.

[Charles B]

That will be more money he has to spend in his witch! Tell him "Sucks to be you!"

[Randy Hill]

I Love Marriage

[diana m]

If I was the judge in a court of law, and he has money to go to Egypt for vacations, and to support a woman, then he has money to make his payments.

File for child support today. You don't need a lawyer. Just go to Family Court, fill out the paperwork, turn it in, ask for a copy and go to court on your court date. CS is retroactive to the day you file. File today.

Consider skipping the traditional every other weekend visitation. Try to establish shared parenting where he has the kids as close to half the time as possible. I had to have the kids 24/7 for years because he couldn't do his every other weekend, which is optional and unenforceable.

It's hard to let the kids spend time with Dad, but it sure would have kept me from hitting burn out. My kids would have had a much better Mom when they Were with me, and they may have had a relationship with their Father, which is Nil at this point, 10 years later.

Don't let him bully you. Quit having conversation with your ex. Ask him to call your lawyer if he wants to discuss legalities. If he calls the house, just put the handset down, gently, let him continue to rant, and walk away. Once the phone is buzzing, then you can hang it up.

You do what you think is right. Establish the foundation for your independence in your best interest, which translates into the kid's best interest.

And let his problems be his. You have enough.