[teresita holbein]

lives at home, help pay the mortgage? My son has live rent free with me for the last 5 years or so. I have asked him to help me pay the Mortgage this year. He has a job that pays him $20 an hour. I have asked him for $650. He is furious with me. He gave me $400 twice then, $500 once and now he has refused to give me anything this month. I don't want a battle with him every month. I am thinking that I have caused some of his problems by not allowing him to feel the financial hardships of life. He should be making much more money by now, but he has never had to get a well paying job because he doesn't feel the hardship of the house expenses. He is very smart and a incredible artist, he could be making 3x the money therefor living a much life.Why is it that my love and understanding hasn't gotten me the respect that I deserve from him?I feel that divorce is hard on the children. My kids were 19 and 21 when we were divorced. He has finally started spending time with his father after several years of being pretty distant.

[flory binggeli]

In a very similar situation, I finally told my grown adult son that it was time for him to start taking care of himself and that I wanted him to get his own place to live. He was shocked that mom would say that but it woke him up. He was out of my house in just a few days. It took him six months on his own to figure out how to take care of himself. He did not speak to me during that time. We are on very good terms now and he is doing fine. Please don't keep yourself on a guilt trip for the divorce - that is past history. Sure, divorce is always hard on the kids no matter what their age. That does not make you a doormat.